I'm still not finished listening to this, and I don't think I'm even quite through this one bit of conversation, but I felt compelled to chime in regarding Shu's second nightmare. For me, the use of harsher language in that nightmare was indicative of just how much darker and more deeply connected to his greatest fears it was. First of all, I expect he *has* heard that kind of language in his life from time-to-time, not aimed at him at this point, but probably used with a kind of casual contempt that can actually be *more* shocking and damaging when the people who are using it are not even aware that he (or anyone in earshot at the time) might be personally affected by it. I've found throughout my life that often the words that hurt me most are those from people within my own circles who are so certain that I'm just like them, that they wouldn't think twice about saying something horrible in front of me that they'd never dare say in public. I think it can actually be much more hurtful (and psychologically damaging) to receive an insult that way than to receive it directly to one's face, and I expect that happens a lot to kids who are struggling with things like sexuality and gender. Secondly, many people (adults *and* kids) who feel like an outsider in their own families will instinctively form self-made families of close friends, and those are the people whose opinions will really matter to them, because those are the people with whom they've entrusted their true selves. Even at Shu's young age, I think being rejected by someone he has (in some way) taken on as his family could be much harsher and much more deeply linked to his greatest fears than being rejected by his biological family would be. The word she uses in his nightmare is probably one he's buried deep, deep inside, and it's only materializing in the dream because it really is his worst, most secret fear. Though I can see Johanna's point about the language feeling shocking in that moment, I actually think it's probably supposed to be. I expect that Shu himself is shocked by that manifestation of a fear he's buried so deep. I know my own worst nightmares have things in them I would never, ever tell anyone in my waking life, because they are so harsh and so deeply connected to my worst fears. I found that scene kind of stunningly realistic, and I think that *does* match the tone of the series.

posted by: Melinda Beasi on 2011-07-14 13:28:57